The one good thing though was that when I told all the kids they had to have homework because some peoples parents wanted them to, all the kids were like "not me, not my mom!" except for maybe two kids, so I found out that instead of OMG ALL THE PARENTS! like the bitch manager made it out to be, it was actually just two parents tops, and the pthers thought it was nice I gave them a break. So ha! But. . . I was really angry for a while, because I put a lot of work into preparing the play for them to enjoy, and it hurt my feelings that all they could do was bitch about me to my boss. ugh. well, it's almost over.
So, it's day three of "listen to what the foot masseusse says" and I feel pretty great! My body wakes up on it's own in the morning, and I have so much more energy. Who knew chewing could do so much?
But, the only sour note now is the terrible dreams I keep having. I've been paying attention to my dreams a lot lately, and I keep having a succession of dying animal dreams. There's always one or more that survive, but the rest perish. First it was the pigs, in the dream I feel God sent me about not eating pork, or the meat of any animal with a complex soul who's life was filled with suffering. Then there was the dream where I was Brad Pitt and I was trying to escape capture for swindling by lighting a field on fire, but when I came out of the woods, a pack of wild horses was running swiftly into a clearing and some of the were on fire and they were all terrified. In last night's dream, one of my kittens had even tinier kittens, the size of seahorses, and I tried to give them a bath in an aquarium. Three out of four drowned. I wish I could have peace at night, but at the same time I feel there is something I need to be learning from them.
Oh, my minutes are almost up. Until next time!
We had a cookout at one of Tom's friend's apartments for American Independence Day. Things turned out awkward but mildly pleasant. For one thing, three men working together were incapable of starting a fire for over an hour. The one thing that was kind fo weird though was that I invited two of my roommates (the buxom Texas twins) and they brought one of their friends who is this cute English girl who says a lot of cute English things (I wish I could remember them, her everyday expressions really did sound creative, I wonder if they only sound that way because I'm not used to it. However, I never thought Australian expressions sounded too special.) But none of the guys there were talking to them. Or to each other, really. When I came down from cooking my fish tacos I was talking to the girls, but the four men were all hunched over in silence. So it was kind of like we were having a party by ourselves while our caveman servants cooked our meat for us. Maybe it was because two of them had girlfriends who were in the apartment having chinese girl talk time for hours, and they were afraid their girlfriends would come down and see them talking to other girls. But their was not a lot of friendly chemistry going on. Also, one of my guests wanted cheese on her hot dog, and nobody would help me find the cheese, and it was really dark. I just kept wandering around looking in bags and murmuring "where's the cheese?" I was like a ghost, and cheese was my unfinished business.
A went for a foot massage on Sunday with my friend from the conversation club. I felt bad because I don't think she understood me on the phone, and she wasn't expecting to pay for a massage. she looked uncomfortable and I ended up paying for part of hers. whoops. But she was really nice and translated what the reflexologist said. He said that I really needed to change my habits, because he could tell from my feet that I always go to bed too late, that I don't chew my food much, and that my heartbeat is weak. I was really excited this morning about chewing my food. It wasn't until I made a concerted effort to chew that I realized how little I did it before. Going to bed early is going to be the real trick. . .
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M
I know this has been seen a little on the news here, but it's better to see it uncut.
Apparently they all had to dance or they would lose priviledges. I wonder if the dancing really helps them. But I can't imagine NOT wanting to dance, and I wonder if most of them secretly wanted to do it anyway
I'm watching this puppet TV show, and all the voices sound like they're done by the same guy. I guess it's cool that it's traditional, but they also add these really cheap CGI ghost figures. It's actually a little boring. Maybe puppets are better in person. But I'm trying to listen to Chinese as much as I can.
The puppets are living in Ancient times and casting spells, and it's really funny.
There's a commercial that keeps coming on, and it shows how even though a girl is tossing and turning in her sleep, she won't fall of the bed as long as the bed is really long. It turns out it's a commercial for night-time pads. But it actually accomplishes the impossible feat of making periods look cute.
It is so much easier to recycle here! McDonalds even has pictures on the trash cans that show you what you can and can't recycle. I have a bin right outside my apartment door, and the recycling place takes just about everything. If it's cardboard, plastic or tin, they will recycle it.
Anyway, I haven't posted as much as I've wanted to because work is kind of kicking my ass right now. The school I'm with is really stressful because they have very specific requirements for how they want things taught. Also, with grading and planning, I spend at least twice the time I spend in the classroom just grading homework and planning for classes. I also have a "Treehouse" class which is like having your own elementary classroom, where you're responsible for progress reports and every class period, three times a week, you have to give them a quiz and write a note to their parents about how they're doing. It's kind of a pain. I am excited about making construction paper decorations, though.
I'm starting to have a lot of doubts about this company. They already made me cry at training, and my roommate, this really cool South African girl, told me that they are very harsh when they do their observations, and if you mess up, they bring up every mistake against you and tell you "you need to be different." I don't know if it's just the way this company works, or if it's a cultural thing where if you're expected to work really hard for no thanks, but it's a big problem if you slip up. I don't know. The school is apparently the industry leader, and so they treat their teachers like a regiment of soldiers. Although I hear it's really rare that they fire you. But I have to do so many "chants" that I wouldn't be surprised if I started to suffer from a phonics spirit possession.
Taiwan is a lot of fun, though. One of the Chinese teachers took me to a night market, (they have a lot of those here), and she ordered these really delicious snails in chili sauce for me to try. They have tons of food and clothes on sale and little carnival games. Last night my roommate took me to another one where we got an amazing foot massage where they go over all the pressure points. It hurts a little bit, but it feels really good and envigorating.
And the shopping, Oh my god the shopping. . .
Almost everything is cute, my size, and usually on sale for the equivalent of about 3-5$ US! Seriously, you would not believe it. I have to stop myself because I have to save my money for Chinese lessons and violin lessons. I really want to get good at both of these things as fast as I can!
Today was my first lesson, and I planned really well,
but they told me the wrong one. Luckily, the game I picked was a big hit, and my Chinese co-teacher who sits in during my classes was really helpful at making sure the kids didn't act up while I was fumbling with the teachers's guide.
I really liked Sunny, this chubby girl who was really smart and nice and who showed me a mouse while we were on break. And also Peter 2 (They get numbers if there's more than one of a popular name) and Saime was really funny and jumpy.
Tomorrow I explore the city!
I'm home alone now. My very Christian roommates have left on a vacation to teach church camp for a week. The place is pretty big for being here by myself, and I'm a little spooked. It is, after all, the day after Ghost Day. Perhaps I should have prayed outside of my apartment building with everyone else, and contributed to the folding tables with food and incense that extend tabletop to tabletop for a block. Apparently ghosts appreciate Oreos, Chinese style Ho-Hos and persimmons.
Men at work 
Grandma at work
The scooters are like swarms of buzzing bees. Friendly scooter man even looks like a bee. 
The pictures don't do justice to the beauty of Xinbeitou
I like this picture I took of you 
The view from inside my cubby at the hostel. The Chinese woman who ran the hostel didn't like me because she was a lesbian and before I realized that I was wondering aloud to someone there why it was so easy to notice gay men everywhere because of their distinct look, but that it was much rarer that you would notice a lesbian. But her partner was really nice, always smiling sweetly and looking very stereotypically like a lesbian. I never knew for sure they were lesbians, but I'm almost certain. 
The old man living next door to the hostel really likes communism, apparently. So I don't know why he isn't living on the mainland instead of Taiwan. He also apparently likes the swimsuit advertisements from newspapers. 
I will probably die under the wheels of a scooter. I am serious, these things know no law and they are EVERYWHERE.When I got to Taipei, though, it was much nicer. A man helped hold my cart so I could get my bags on, and then I practiced a little Chinese with the Taxi driver, who told me I looked really young. The hostel I stayed at before I got to my hotel had a very pungent odor. It smelled sort of like much of Taiwan does, but to the tenth power, and now everything in my suitcase smells that way. It was so sticky because there was only AC at night and it gets soooo hot here. I got a sunburn walking around at 9:30 in the morning.
We slept ten to a room in little wooden cubby holes with green curtains. They were cute and made me feel like I was living in a rabbit warren. The place was a bit gross, and the shower was just a hole in the bathroom floor, but overall it was alright, and there were lots of people from all over the place there. There are A LOT of people who come from beachy places here, like New Zealand and California. I'm a rarity because I'm seven hours at least from a beach.
I met a nice English girl there named Rosemary who was also joining my company, so we went on a day trip together up to Xinbeitou (it is 25 minutes from the mainstation in Taipei, because even though it is a city of 3 million, its really compact) a beautiful town nestled in green mountains that had a sulfur hot springs (and lots of wonderful baths.) The place was absolute paradise. There's a small national park there, and lots of more traditional homes that you have to walk up stone steps to get to. The baths were also wonderful, they were in these round, public stone tubs surrounded by nice flowers and bannana trees.
Taipei itself is crazy, there's swarms of scooters buzzing around constantly, and tons of neon signs in Chinese. people are really SUPER helpful though. I asked one woman where the pharmacy was and she led us there herself, even though it was BLOCKS away and she even showed us how to get this awesome mosquito cream for Rose's bites, and then the shopkeepers even opened up a new package of wipes and wiped the puss off of them (they were terrible!) free of charge. It was funny because the woman made her put the cream on right there in the shop while everyone watched.
More to come!
Next episode: Cinderella
wish me luck
People here are not as short as I was led to expect. Also, there is definitely a good way, and a terrible barf-inducing (I'm looking at you airlines) way to make scrambled eggs.
It is hot in the hostel where I am staying. It is annoying that I have to throw away toilet paper instead of flushing it, as it runs very counter to a habit I have had for years.
Time to get some Taiwan money! Eeeeeek!
Pete left Austin yesterday at 5:30, and he called a cab early in the morning.
I was suffering from a terrible panic attack that filled me with dread, maybe because I drank too much coffee and my heart was racing. I was also nauseous and only felt better during sex, as a result Pete had to heap on the sexual healing. I really think that there's a good reason my guy friends tend to fall for me, and I think they're more crazy about me than my boyfriends. It's because I'm so full of powerful feelings, and when I'm in love with someone its overwhelming and I can sometimes barely talk to them because I will feel so affected by them and how they respond to me that I'm just swept away by emotion. It's something I try to control but sometimes I think I would be better off if I were open about how sensitive I am. I just don't want to do what my mother does, vomiting emotions all over everybody and infusing fear into every aspect of life.
Austin is funny though. Yesterday I was on the bus and everyone was having a discussion about what vile thing the bus smelled like. One person suggested dirty pampers, another person said it was like a blend of foot and ass (a foot that just kicked someone's ass, lol). Then one Mexican girl with bleached hair that faded to orange whipped out her melon body spray and it got passed around.
Even I got a squirt. One man had "game over" tattooed on his eyelids. I thought it was a joke for when he went to sleep or if someone found him lying dead. But Pete thought maybe it could be a way of threatening people by closing his eyes. It was pretty cool, though.
Today I gas n' dashed at the pump! It was a total accident, but I stole thirty dollars worth of gassy goodness. I don't think the lady even bothered to call the cops on me because she knew I was a total ditz. When I tried to put my card in she told me over the intercom that the card reader on pump 15 wasn't working. I started glancing around like I thought God was talking to me because I was looking for the number, so she repeated herself, and I pointed like an ape at my pump and turned in the direction of her glass box to get confirmation that yes, she was talking to me. I had a lot on my mind while I pumped the gas, because there are a lot of things I have to do at Kinko's today, and so I just got in the car as soon as I was done, feeling very satisfied with myself for taking care of that tedious and depressing errand. I wonder if they have hidden cameras?
But goddamn I am BONE TIRED from this stupid AP testing job. Everyone takes themselves so seriously it gets on my fucking nerves. The first day I noticed this funny-looking guy with little man syndrome, who was the leader for the Spanish section. He was like "Oooooh yes, Spanish gets CRAZY. Once you get the tapes in there, mmhmm" He was nodding his head like he was wrangling a situation that was seriously out of control. He had a mullet, black hightops I haven't seen since the year I was born, and a t-shirt that said "commander in chief." He was also standing like one of those weird guys in a fitness infomercial. My Napolean alarm went off in my head. So I wasn't surprised when this man in his 40s seemed convinced he was going to take me out. And he keeps trying every day, making me wonder, does that EVER work? Because all it does is make me laugh as soon as I leave the room.
"Chinatown" was a hardboiled detective story about a private eye in 1930s Los Angles. The moderately successful P.I. specialized in adultery, but stumbled on a corrupt and sinister plot to make tens of millions of dollars. The dastardly man behind it was already phenomenally rich- at one point the detective asks him why he did it:
Jake Gittes: I just want to know what you're worth. Over ten million?
Noah Cross: Oh my, yes.
Jake Gittes: Why are you doing it? How much better can you eat? What can you buy that you can't already afford?
Noah Cross: The future, Mr. Gitts, the future.
There's a similar part in "There Will Be Blood." Daniel Plainfield is a man who started out poor and worked hard in filthy conditions to become prosperous in the oil business around the turn of the last century. He has a chance to sell the land he has drilled for over a million dollars (a lot back then). He chooses not to, because he is going to take a big risk to make even more money, and for the grandiose desire to orchestrate and prosper from a new technology, (the pipeline) introduced into the oil business.
The intense cravings that these characters possess, to grasp for more riches and control than they could ever make use of, advances an interesting conflict. On the one hand, it necessitates their actions be ruled by greed and ruthlessness, putting aside all other sentiments so that no barriers exist to their insatiable self-interest. The result is behavior that any child could recognize as evil. On the other hand, this self-interest, having no limits, cannot end in wealth, status, comfort or renown. It must imitate a godlike creative power and omnipotence, especially in the case of "Chinatown"'s Noah Cross. The result is that he builds a town in the desert, and creates a fertile agricultural valley. None of this is done in the service of anyone else, and he cheats and murders many people to ensure his power over this creation. Yet it still stands that he has built something substantive, that will be made use of well into the "future" that he envisions with such ferocity. Although he is evil, his unrestrained ambition inevitably acts as a constructive force. Similarly, men like Daniel Plainfield were important players in the development of an industry that contributed to America's prosperity. Daniel Plainfield and Noah Cross are both examples of the creative power of greed. They also make it clear how necessary it is for society to maintain some means of restraining this power, so that it does not cross the brink of becoming destructive, consuming and exploiting beyond anything it produces.
There's way more to go into in terms of the differences between these two characters, especially in terms of their role as fathers. But I will say that Daniel Plainfield is a MUCH more sympathetic character.
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